smart mouth & guilt...

Holt has been smart mouthing lately mixed w/ a little disrespect. For example, today after school I asked how his day was and he very rudely says "It was fine. Can you just hand me a snack?" Not terrible, right? Well, it rubbed me the wrong way. Probably b/c just before that he and his friend were walking together in front of me, towards the parking lot at school and I said "please stop before you get to the street." Instead they looked both ways (great) and darted across to the grass median. Oh, no! I was not happy and spoke to both of them (safety, listening, blah, blah) along w/ the friend's mom.
So, just after that he pulls the smart mouth. I get out of the driver seat, open his door and put my hand on his chin to turn it quickly to look at me. I then said "You will not speak to me that way. I am your mother. You will listen, blah, blah, blah." He cried and said "okay, mommy, I'm sorry." Sad, right?, but, here's the part that made me feel guilty.... I was not calm, I didn't yell, but I was furious, I spoke sternly and I grabbed his face...I could feel my blood boiling. It was like all the smart mouthing that had been going on was building and that was the last straw! That is not my way of parenting (the grabbing and ugly voice thing). I let him get the best of me and didn't show him a good example of talking to people. Instead I mouthed and disrespected right back. How can you expect respect if you don't give it? Plus Adly saw it all. This parenting thing is hard...especially when you have a child who is a bit of a challenge!! Deep breathing now. What is your consequence or speech to smart mouths? Thank goodness his teacher says he's an angel!